Bits & Pieces

Long days have I spent in trying to forget the fact that my post is unfinished for the past 2 months, okay 4 months but I’d actually forgotten in the first 2 months & then accidentally tripped on the unfinished post & have been since trying to forget it without any success for the past 2 months. And since Appoo refuses to stop writing & still has dedicated readers proves that there are always readers for the nonsensical.

Lot of things have passed in between these many months, for one I attended my office party, my first office party where they served alcoholic beverages. Not the one to lose on any opportunity of getting drunk, after which people excuse whatever I say on my drunkenness (my main reason to get drunk is for people to assume that I “may be” talking sense whenever I get sober & to my credit, I don’t usually hang around to let them realize that how irrational it is to believe that people are any different than when they are drunk.) I reached the party venue before everyone else, since I don’t bother with changing attire for parties or work, the clothes I wear for work are good enough for the party & vice versa. Reaching the venue I greeted the big boss & proceeded to the table which was the only reason I was there in the first place & the same was the case with the official party photographer who, like all party photographers throughout history, was there to have free booze. The moment he noticed that he had subjects for practicing his non-existent photography skills took a snap of me as I ogled at various shaped bottles of booze. Turning away from the topic of party, I have always failed to understand what skills are required in taking a photograph from an auto-focus & auto everything digital camera , I’d say give the camera a li’l bit of AI & a pair of legs, it’ll replace free loader photographers anytime. Anyways my ex- co-drinker made an instant celebrity of me when the same picture was developed & posted onto the company website, since the inquisitive creature that a human being is, it takes minimum 28.5 snaps for him to be bored of viewing photo albums & when any pictures is the first in the album the same is viewed with a lot of expectation. I have yet to find out whether the people who viewed the photograph got what they expected when they saw me in the midst of many bottles of booze, although it has helped me in identifying with a lot of my colleagues world over. “ya, the same person….yes the one standing & ogling at the booze…good morning btw... What did you want to speak to me about?…” has become one of the regular sentences to start my day.

Valentine’s Day passed too, uneventfully, as it always does, without me bothering any of the florists or for that matter any supermarket salesman/woman. I have a colleague who introduced me to his valentine, took me (I am clueless about the reason yet) & his valentine to the super market & bought 2 packets of instant “2 minute noodles” & presented one to his lady love. No, I have still not got the joke if there was any in the incident. I presumed that there was a subtle message in the presenting of the “2 minutes & ready to eat” catch phrase of the noodle brand, but I don’t think she understood it & returned the packet of noodle to my buddy. I totally understood as to why he was so happy while walking to office the next day, 2 packs of noodles can get your mind off anything. I am so inspired with this new idea for a gift that I plan to give instant noodle packets to everyone, my wife, my kids, grandchildren, great-grandchildren & once they are disgusted with the gifts I have given them they’d return them back to me. Assuming that they are so disgusted as to leave me to die alone in my old age, then I’d sit alone in the nights, cook a packet of instant noodles & eat them while watching “night safari” on national geographic, assuming that no one decides to take off the air the only program which does not hurt your eyes when watching in darkness. And that’s just a part of planning for my life, anyone interested in still allowing me to live are part of a vanishing breed of people.

Lot of legal cases are over & done with too. And with each passing case I am forced to believe that truth never has any witnesses or any defense, it is alone & can’t be proven. If you can prove something in a court of law with proper documentation & proofs, it is all fabricated just for the reason that it will have to be produced in a court of law, at least where I am involved. So if a judge is shown all evidences & documentation for or against as the case may be, he should rule against the obvious choice. My bit of advice for improving the rate of conviction here in India

Many bosses have come & gone since I joined here, now as I sit typing this post I feel as if I’ve been here all my life. I have yet to know what keeps me stable here when my bosses feel something’s wrong with this world, maybe it’s just me. I have had different priorities for different bosses & now there’s a new boss & a new priority & I ignore it as I have done with all the previous bosses. One thing I don’t like is when I am told how I am supposed to a particular job. Maybe I’ll gift this one a packet of instant noodles for never telling me how to do my job & staying that long enough.

New buses have been introduced as part of the World Bank funded Mumbai Urban Transportation Project & the same have been introduced on the route I travel as well, these are the buses which have the route number of the bus displayed on the rear too. Earlier as I ran towards my bus stop I’d always console myself that the bus that I just missed was not mine, now I know for sure that the bus was mine, although I have yet to understand how this bit of info is supposed to help me.

Maybe I’ll sign out with this thought for the people who thought I was dead:
"This is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But, it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning."
- Winston Churchill